She is HI-LAR-I-OUS

The first day of school was a success here, and I have a post coming about all that. But first I wanted to share with you some collected Natalie sayings over the last few weeks. So far, four is definitely more hilarious than three, in that the sense that there's a lot more thinking and (mis)communication going on. (Apologies, as I've posted some of these to Facebook already.)

• Natalie informed me that she'd like to wear a "two piece zucchini" bathing suit to school for her final splash day  of summer camp.  Um, no?

•  The last week of summer camp was a Hawaiian theme. According to Natalie, they even had the "biscuit flower" [hibiscus] everywhere.

• The other day, during a rare simultaneous afternoon nap, I settled in the recliner to read and have a granola bar snack. Natalie woke up before I had time to hide the evidence. "Mommy? Are you eating a granola bar? Are you? Are you? Granola bars have  A LOT of sugar. Sugar is bad choice, mommy. Granola bars are a bad choice. You shouldn't eat granola bars. That is NOT HEALTHY." Lesson learned. (Also, she calls yogurt pretzels "sugar pretzels." Girl's on to something there.)

• Natalie has become ever more exacting in her choice of bedtime stories, and I've totally been scraping the bottom of the proverbial story barrel. Proof of this? I've started recycling cartoons from my brother's childhood in an attempt to both entertain and lull to sleep (a challenging story sweet spot, for sure). A few weeks before the conversation below, I had told a sufficiently dull story about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. She hadn't asked for a repeat, so I thought we were done with them. Apparently not.

Natalie: Mom, if any boys ever come over to our house, and if they ever have a sleepover in my room . . . .
Me: Yeah?
Natalie: You should definitely tell them the bedtime story about the ninja turtles! They would love that!

• Natalie is really into language-policing:

Me:  . . . so I said, we'd come if we could, but -
Natalie: Mom, you shouldn't say "but." "But" is a not a nice word. It's a potty word.
Me: Let me introduce you to conjunctions . . . .

•  Natalie's new classroom has a pet. However, when I asked her what kind of pet it was, she said, "Well, I wasn't listening at that part. But I know it's nocturnal!" So I named a few nocturnal animals that would be reasonable class pets, but was told it wasn't any of those. So then I started naming possible preschool pets that weren't nocturnal, like guinea pigs, rabbits, hamsters, etc. After each one of these faulty suggestions, Natalie would shout "I told you it was NOCTURNAL." Okay, kid. Finally, exasperated, I asked her if she knew anything more about the mystery pet. Her reply? "Well, I know it's not a zebra."
  (The mystery pet is a hermit crab.) 

•  Natalie lost her favorite doll, Rachel, in the house the other day. She wandered around calling out "Rachie, Rachie, where are you?" It was totally cute.
  (Also, other dolls are named Mary Seed, Tracy, and Priscilta Priscilla. Natalie has come up with all these, clearly.)

•  Natalie is all about the superlatives. "Terrific" and "Gorgeous" are some of her favorites. One morning after gymnastics, Mike took her to get a haircut at a place in the same strip mall. They just walked across the parking lot. Natalie: "This [walk] is going to be terrific!" Or Natalie will draw something or get dressed in a classic mis-matched Natalie outfit and then declare that her picture or her clothing combo is "just gorgeous."

• One night after I left to go to knitting, Natalie sat down on the couch with some scrap yarn and two drum sticks. "What I'm knitting right now is basically like a baby ball."