Fish for Breakfast: School

The number one question people ask me is: "How are the kids liking their schools?"
Also, some variant of this was the number one question I was asking myself before we started all this.

The short answer is that it's going really well (knock on wood).

The long answer is that I don't really know. I've gone from being a pretty connected mom (chatting with teachers at pick-up, knowing what the kids are doing / studying / reading each day, volunteering frequently at the schools) to someone who really has no clue. I mean, I know what Natalie reports, but I know enough to know that that isn't always the full story or even the most important part of the story of the day. Jacob's school sends home a daily log sheet (which I can't read - so there's no skimming it at pick-up and asking questions then), so we have a little more of an idea of what the teachers thought was important about the day. But my general understanding of their schools days here is something between a shrug and a single detail.

Natalie's school is largely physically inaccessible to us. She rides the school bus to and from school, but for us to get to the school, it is a ten-minute walk, followed by a five-minute train ride, followed by a ten-minute cab ride. I don't think I could explain to cab driver how to find the school, but apparently the address is enough - it's out in the country, so I'm not sure if this makes it easier or harder to use the address to navigate. But, duh, not being able to get to the school easily makes one feel very disconnected from the school. I'm grateful to a neighboring parent who has been generous with rides to school for events where parents are welcome / required.

Here she is getting on the school bus for her first day of school in early January:

Jacob's school is the opposite. We can literally see his school from our bedroom. I've never lived in that sort of walkable paradise before. It's pretty sweet. But Jacob's school is largely inaccessible to me because of the language barrier. The teachers are sweet and lovely and kind and do speak some English, but my pick-ups and drop-offs are mostly built around smiles and laughter and pointing at Jacob. It's clear they like Jacob and that Jacob likes going there, so, well, all seems well.

Putting on his indoor school shoes:

Sample report that comes home at the end of the day:

The top table also contains fields for us to record when he went to bed, when he woke up, and his temperature. The first thing I do when I get home is snap a picture of the daily report sheet and text it to Mike so he can give me a brief version, just in case there's anything I need to know for the rest of the afternoon.

In a way, my generalized ignorance is sort of liberating. At Natalie's school in Texas, I feel some anxiety around her fitting in and having the right uniform / backpack / water bottle / lunch bag / etc., volunteering enough, talking to the other moms, etc. The rules of the game are clear to me, even if I worry about my ability to deliver on the specifics. Here, I know I am failing at an unknown set of culturally specific rules of parenting about eighty-seven zillion times per day. The saving grace is that often I don't even know exactly how I'm failing because I'm not even sure which game we're playing. For example, let off Jacob's school supply list was a nap bag. Because - duh - what parent would send her kid to nursery school without a nap bag? Yeah...... Present on Jacob's school supply list? Two towels. Check. Only two weeks in did I realize that meant two towels every day. Same thing with the change of clothes. I come from the send-extra-clothes-in-for-emergencies school of preparation. Jacob's school changes the kids into fresh clothes after they play outside in the morning; they then eat lunch and nap in clean clothes. I was slow to catch on that this was a daily deal. I'm perpetually buried in laundry.

When the staff at Jacob's school points these things out, they are kind and gentle and always show me examples of what I need to send. When my transgressions at Natalie's school are revealed, Natalie tends toward the petulant and enraged and betrayed. I. Didn't. Know. The. Score. Example 1: No jeans on PE days, even if it's 34 degrees and you have to wait for the bus at 7:30am. Okaaaay. At least my mistakes make sense in my universe, right?

But, really, absent my understanding of what others think I should be doing, I just kind of have to do my thing. Will Natalie ever find her neckwarmer? She'll have to look for it at school and go without for a few days. Do people think I don't know that my kid needs a neckwarmer? Does Natalie need a new reading book? She'll need to ask the teacher and go without for a few days. Should she be reading every day? Is everyone else getting a book every day? Is my kid falling behind? Do people think we don't value reading? Does Jacob's school think I don't know the difference between putting a shirt on frontwards or backwards or that I'm a bad mom because I let my kid walk to school with no hat and with his shoes on the wrong feet? Or do they think I'm awesome and into Monetessori-driven experiential learning or natural and logical consequences? Or maybe they think I'm mean because I make him carry his giant backpack? I don't know. We can't actually talk to each other (plus I'm sure they are much too polite to say), so I've gradually come to just accept that I have to make the decision that feels right. I'm sure there's a larger lesson in there, if only I have the grace to find it.

Both kids are happy. We couldn't ask for better schools to be our temporary homes, replacing the lovely schools we left behind.

Natalie's school has violin and calligraphy / Japanese as part of the school day.

Natalie's class is just wrapping up a big inquiry unit on light and dark and what makes shadows. She was really into it, explaining to us all about shadows and light sources. As part of this unit, the kids had a sleepover at school. I worried that the kids were too young for this, but apparently school sleepovers are common in Japan, even in preschool. So Natalie went - it takes big courage and a big heart to go to a sleepover at a new school in a new country, after less than a month of living here. But she did great!

Here are some pics from the post-sleepover breakfast (parents were invited to this part).