Baikinman

Anpanman is this popular Japanese anime character who has a super-popular TV show. To quote the font of pop culture wisdom that is Wikipedia (since I only know some of the characters, but not the story), the premise of the whole thing works like this: "In each episode, Anpanman fights with Baikinman and helps the people of the town. He always goes on patrol in the area around the house of Uncle Jam. He is a symbol of justice, fighting for the cause of justice every day." I'm sure that leaves out many important details; I really don't know much about the larger story here. In researching this post, it's become very clear to me that there are people who are really, really, really into this. Of course there are.

Bean-jam-bun,anpan,katori-city,japan" by katorisi
Licensed under CC BY 3.0 via Commons.

A little background: Anpan is a bean-jam filled roll. To me, it's exactly as delicious as that sounds like it would be. I find it overly sweet and mealy. I also feel like anpan is doubly cruel, given that the filling often looks like chocolate (which I find delightful and amazing).

Also, the whole Uncle Jam thing makes a little more sense now, no?

Anpan (the pastry) translates into a cartoon character that looks like this:

Source: http://anpanman.wikia.com/wiki/Anpanman

As one would expect, Anpanman has some sidekicks (Currypanman, I'm looking at you) and some enemies. Actually, I've just learned that the bread universe is really large (and perhaps ever-increasing?). Again, according to Wikipedia, "In 2009, Anpanman was verified as a Guinness World Record Holder for the highest number of characters in an animated franchise with a total of 1,768 characters appearing in the first 980 episodes of the TV series and the first 20 Anpanman films." Now you know, right?

In the Anpanman universe, Baikinman is the chief bad guy. According to good old Wikipedia, Baikinman is "from the "Germ Planet"; his Japanese name means "Bacteria Man." His ambition is to destroy Anpanman and spread bacteria all over the latter's world, yet he is perfectly content to play tricks, steal, and bully those weaker than him. He and Anpanman were born at the same time, making them physical representations of moral dualism. He has a weakness to soap, which shrinks him to the size of a fly. He constructs machines and thinks of intricate plans to counteract Anpanman's strength." Huh. Also: a villain slain by soap? Be still, my beating heart.

Anyway, all of that might describe Baikinman - but if you ask Jacob, Baikinman has only one key attribute: his scary teeth. You be the judge:

Source: http://evilbarneynet.wikia.com/wiki/Baikinman

Jacob isn't flat-out terrified of Baikinman. I mean, Baikinman is no vacuum cleaner or anything. But Jacob is definitely keeping a close eye on Baikinman. After all, the dude/character/thing is from the germ planet and made of bacteria, so it might just pay to be aware.

Here's a little video where Jacob explains the precise problem with Baikinman:

Whew! That was a long lead-in for that video, right? I hope it was worth it. Also, I'm sorry that my kid didn't cover the deep moral dualism of the Anpan universe. Next time.

Last, if you've fallen in love with Baikinman and need your own stuffed bacteria - or think it's the perfect gift for the germaphobe who has everything - no worries.*


*There might still be some worries: I'm neither responsible for your questionable taste nor your assessment of what others would find to be a great gag gift. Actually, what I really want to tell you is the link there is the Amazon affiliate link for Jacob's school, lest you think I've monetized this blog. Rest assured, I'm deeply committed to standing apart from the vast sums of money to be made from blogs like this.